If I have harmed anyone in any way either knowingly or unknowingly
through my own confusions, I ask their forgiveness.

If anyone has harmed me in any way either knowingly or unknowingly
through their own confusions, I forgive them.

And if there is a situation I am not yet ready to forgive
I forgive myself for that.

For all the ways that I harm myself, negate, doubt, belittle myself,
judge or be unkind to myself through my own confusions
I forgive myself.

We keep talking about letting go but ‘letting go’ comes when we learn to forgive. We generally mistake forgiveness to be something we do for others, not recognizing that by not forgiving, we carry the burden of our emotions such as rage, hostility, and resentment and, in the process, punish ourselves.

Forgiveness does not come easy. Sometimes we are hurt so deeply that we can’t let go of the suffering. The closer the bond with the person who harmed us, the more difficult it is for us to let them off. When we are betrayed or deceived by someone we trust, it becomes difficult to forgive them. Sometimes the betrayal is so deep that it even shakes the core of our faith. And without faith, to forgive someone becomes unimaginable.

What are we supposed to do in these situations? Should we let the time heal our hearts and soul? How do we get our faith back and initiate the process of forgiveness?

Acknowledgment: The first step is acknowledgment. One of the most crucial steps is acknowledging you are hurt, and the person who has hurt you.

Acceptance: Accept that you have been wronged and wronged by someone you trusted. You can’t change it, but you can only accept it.

Consider: How important is that person to you? Can you trust him/her again? Would you be able to continue without bringing up the past in the future? Would you be able to have a normal, healthy relationship with the person? Most importantly, do you still respect him/her?

Heal: Count your blessings. Be thankful for the people in your life who love you and care for you. A few wrong people or relationships do not define you or your life.

Forgive: Give yourself time to heal. Meditate, ask the Universe for help, to help you forgive and let go. When you feel ready, FORGIVE.

Let go of the bitterness but not the lesson. Sometimes this is how Universe teaches us, so when you let go of the hurt and pain, don’t let go of the learning.

“I think the first step is to understand that forgiveness does not exonerate the perpetrator, forgiveness liberates the victim it’s a gift you give yourself.” T.D. Jakes

Vibha Kapil
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