“Hello”, said that faint voice on the phone. She was calling from abroad. She wanted to know more about Past Life Regression. A common friend there had suggested my name.
As she spoke, an image began forming in my mind. An image of a girl, born in a quiet town in India. Mischievous, naughty, bright and well behaved – an apple of her parents’ eyes. And over the next one hour that we spoke, this image turned into a character. A character from the book of life.
My understanding from the study of and practice of Past Life Regression has taught me that our Soul takes repeated human births to learn and grow. There are a series of lessons planned for the Soul to learn from. It is how we act at crucial moments, is how our life is shaped. It’s ancient knowledge, deep inside our scriptures. Oh yes, so this lady…
The 1st setback for this lady, when she was a little child, took the form of a couple of teachers. We’ve heard ample stories where the teachers have been powerful mentors. I have had such experiences. But we are not talking about those teachers here. These were the ones who belong to the other extreme of the spectrum. The ones who convinced this little girl – that she was not good enough. This was wall number 1.
As she reached university, her friends from school turned their backs towards her. Things became so bitter that they managed to alienate her and continued playing havoc in her life much after they had parted ways. She stopped making friends, and until recently she was only walking in the oblivion. “I’m certainly not good enough”. Wall number 2 continued to thicken. Her ability of making friends was lost.
Somewhere in the midst of the formation of I’m not good enough, she married a man of her dreams, and they had a baby girl soon after. She felt that she finally had arrived into happiness. As days went by, what she thought was a gateway to happiness, was actually wall number 3, a wall of relentless abuse. The man that she had married turned out to be a stranger. A savage, that she had never known.
She tagged along with him and their daughter, from city to city and country to country. And mental, physical and emotional abuse walked along. Who should she turn to, she had no clue. She was in a foreign land by now, and that became wall number 4.
She was stuck within the 4 walls of her house, and 4 thick walls of “I’m not good enough” around her heart. Alien land. No friends. No one to speak to.Just the right recipe to lose one’s mind.
She wasn’t qualified to work in that country, and so she devoted herself to motherhood. One day, as she looked into the eyes of her child, something changed within her. “This is not the woman my daughter would grow up seeing”, is what sounded louder than her pain, somewhere in the depth of her being. The more she looked at the child, the louder this voice became.
Deep within, a spark ignited. She enrolled in the university there, and got a degree. She began taking a stand for herself and began calling a spade, a spade. Her husband was so dependent on her, by then, that he had no option but to change, lest she walked out on him or filed a complaint. Thank God, for her wisdom, and his too!
She began working and was exceptionally good at what she did! But suddenly, ventured in wall number 5 – the roof or the lid (if you know what I mean). Bosses!! Not one, but 2 to be sandwiched between! They need special mention too, because sometimes the position that they hold, wires them into believing that they are too good to be true! And from that vantage point, they make you believe that you are an embodiment of everything that is “NOT GOOD ENOUGH”.
But not this time. This time the gaze turned inwards. Inwards towards that spark that had ignited within, with that one eye contact with her daughter. Inwards, where Wisdom, Courage and Compassion reside. Creativity became a way of life! Creativity in mending relationships.Creativity in uplifting people.Creativity in capturing the beauty of nature.Creativity in breaking JUST one of those walls. It doesn’t matter, which.
We are yet to meet for a session, which will help her with the various “Why’s”, but I couldn’t help penning this down.
Her name..? How does it matter if she has a name or not. I’m sure something about her is familiar to you.
For me, she is resilience, courage, wisdom, strength of character. For me, she is a phoenix, risen from the ashes.
For me, she is a woman!
Oops…! did I use the word ‘faint’ somewhere..?
– Nidhie Saagar